Who Really gets it.........

For most of you that know me I am a pretty happy person, That being said this last year has been one of the hardest that I have ever had to go thru...... I have felt totally alone and like everyone has turned there back on me including GOD.  Late last year Marraige took turn a dark and sorta twisted Hard road that I was not sure would ever find the light again or not be a bumpy roller coaster ride from HELL! ( so sorry if that offends) and if that was not enough my mom was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer and has chosen not to treat it.  My dad has not been well either and Doctors can not pin point what might be the problem.
so we finally get to the holidays and find the Perfect house with land and move in OH HAPPY DAY short lived!  NOW as if all of that prior fun stuff was not the worst! haha just into this year I was hit with a 2x4 to the head (gutt shot of EPIC hits) I find out that my hubby of almost 17years wants me to change some things or he is getting a divorce as if that wasnt bad enough he tells me that Dani and colton do not want me to live there anymore they want me gone. all in one day. DEVESTATION does not EVEN begin to cover how I feel at this point, Could my life get any worse. I feel dead inside.........what do you do when your life is pretty much over as you know it and you have noone in your corner to say its going to be okay........well you either stop and die or you get up and kick butt and take names!!!  Unless you have been in a situation like this or simular you cant understand the darkness and despair that takes over your life. the things that you once lived and breathed for hate you.  This is a depressing blog but I felt like I needed to air how i felt and why if anyone was wondering I have seemed to drop off the face of the planet. I have some great friends but how do you reach out for help when the problem is embarrassing and shallow and whatever who really know what to call it but crappy.
I have worked my butt off the last few months trying to repair the damage to my marriage and the relationship with my kids that I didnt know was so bad. I have worked on loosing weight and getting healthy and being the person that I want to be and the person that others want for me to be. It hasnt been easy but I do think that my heart is healing. and I will be better for it in the long run.

We finally set down some roots!

We bought a house with 17.5 acres! more to come later.

How to become a snow monster...........

they say a picture is worth a thousand words.........these pictures say that it is cold outside.

poor Garrett......

poor Garrett could not be a snow monster with Dani and Colton on account of he has a severe ear infection. poor guy is not feeling real great.

May I introduce SNOW monster 1 & 2!!!!!!

When the weather is 14 degrees outside and you have to feed the outside animals this is what you have to dress like! haha the kids had a lot of fun.

Even the dog is hunkered down

Annie is so funny she was all curled up on her bed, and here comes Clayton with a blanket and covers her up she just snuggled down and slept there and never moved. It was pretty funny. gotta love animals!!!!

Winter Storm 2011

this is what we woke up to today, the funny thing about it is that Monday schools started to call for closings before 3pm. and the sky was still blue and around 45 degrees. but later in the night it started to role in. They have already cancelled school and most businesses are already closed for Wednesday. so we are hanging out in the house where it is warm. I am loving the time in with my family. Work keeps me busy so I cherrish every moment that I get to spend with them.

and yes more boots and leather

more boots and saddles........

these are more of the boots that Clayton has made I am so very PROUD of him!!!!!

little late but we had a blast with my dad this summer!!!

I love the summer and it is even better when my dad is here.

boots and saddles........

just one of the awesome saddles that Claytons made. And my work boots!! lol I told Clayotn that they were to nice to wear for work he told i would wear them for work or he would take them away and sell them so I guess that you know what I did yup I wore them in the cow CRAP!!!

Update on our life........

for those of you that have wondered why I have not had any posts for so long the Biggest reason is due to the fact that we have had no internet. Well we do now so I feel like I am connected back to the world again =) I have been lazy to at adding things.... So here is a recap of the last few months... Dani is now 15 and will in 5months be 16! and yes to answer anyones question the dating thing scares the tar out of me!!!! She is beautiful and just as sweet as always.She is also a freshman at Henryetta High School and the Freshman class president. also a member of fccla. we are so proud of her.

Colton is 13 and will be 14 in july! He is in the 8th grade and has been playing the electric bass guitar since the 6th grade and is teaching himself to the play the accustic guitar. He has joined the newspaper for the Henryetta middle school. He is a great kid, I couldn't be more proud of him and the young man that he has become!!

Garrett is almost 11 and is in the 5th grade this will be his last year in the elementary school Next year the middle school!!! he is playing the clarinet for the 5th grade band. and teaching himself how to play the mandolin, he is the baby and of course just a little spoiled! he is a great little man and he makes us very proud of him.

Clayton has spent the last year learning to make custom cowboy boots and saddles!! He is AMAZING at it. he has found his calling in life. he works night for a school doing maintance and his getting ready to start work in the day for a local ranch while studing to get his real estate license. I am so proud of him for doing all that he can do for our family.

I am working for an indenpdant Insurance company and I love it! Our office is half Century 21 and the other half insurance we have great people that work there from all walks of life.

we have been in Oklahoma for almost 3 years now and I have to say that as much as I love it, It is not at all what I thought that it would be. It has been a really rough road for us to go down and all alone. we moved to be close to family and I have to say that was our biggest mistake. I will never make that choice again. we have learned alot about our kids and our mariage and I am grateful for that.
But for the first time in my life I feel like the blessings that are suppose to come for being faithful and doing what we are supposed to are not ever going to come and the only thing that is every going to be there another trial followed by another and another, and I really dont care to try anymore. so here is hopeing for a better day tomorrow.......

This One's for you TEDDY!!!!!!!

Last Saturday the kids were in a friends wedding Dani was one of the bridesmaids, here is my beauty with the other bridesmaid (blonde in the middle)Alex and Amy (on the right) the maid of honor.It just kills me how beautiful and grownup Dani is.

THE NEW ME

well this is me now and about 25pounds less of me. I am supper happy here but miss all the great people back home.

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM OKLAHOMA

I LOVE THIS MAN!!!!! HE IS MY BEST FRIEND AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP

THE GREATEST GIFT......LOVE

CLAYTON DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST HARRASSING THE KIDS!!!!!

NEED I SAY MORE??!!!

DON'T FORGET GARRETT

Garrett is cute and funny as ever!!!! Terry is our friends son and he calls Garrett his little kid and Colton his big kid. Garrett is almost 10 and in the 4th grade. He is trying to be his own man. we are very proud of him.

Here's Colton

our fishing man!!! he loves to fish we are so proud of him, he is the deacon quorum president and he takes his calling very serious. He is also the first in band playing the electric bass guitar.

Here she is the princess of our lives. she is so much fun to be around. Dani is growing up to be a great young woman she is beautiful and so kind. we are so proud of her.

Happy Fall!!!!!!

I just thought that I would update all of you, and let you that we are doing great out here in Oklahoma. It is beautiful here and we are very happy.